Outlander and Women with HeartIn response to an article about "A Woman's Circle of Friends" that I'd included an issue of The Goddess Path Newsletter, a woman named Lynn emailed me a poignant response and allowed me to share it in the next issue. Other subscribers responded (See initial comments to this post) to her dilemma.
Here's what Lynn said:
All my life, I've heard about the wonderful friendships women have. I'm a woman. But I'm probably not your friend.
Let me tell you who I am...I am the woman you will tell your troubles to in the line at the store...the one who will listen and empathize. But then you will smile, and maybe say thanks, but never ask my name.
I am the one who will walk out of the school with you and two other moms after a project in our children's classroom, and will hear you invite the other moms over for lunch, but will not be included.
I am the one who will hear all about the great scrapbook retreat you and another woman went to, and how you can't wait to do it again. But you will never ask me if I would like to join you.
I am the one you will tell all about your big, crazy Thanksgiving family dinners, and maybe you'll even ask to borrow a recipe or a baking pan, but even though I have no family within a thousand miles, you will not invite my child and me to join you because after all, we're not family.
I am the one with the book you need to borrow, the name of the doctor or Realtor you want to find, the one with information on the new restaurant, places to go on your vacation, or the website to help with your child's project. I am the one who can pick up your child when you're running late, pitch in when another mom didn't show for the gift wrapping table at the school holiday market, or hold your hand when the doctor's news is scary.I am the one who will ask you over to lunch, only to have you cancel...twice.
I am the outsider, the not-from-around-here, the stranger in your midst. I am educated, well dressed, well mannered, and literate. I am a woman, a mom, a neighbor But I do not go to your church. I do not celebrate the same holidays you do. I was not born here. I did not grow up here. I am a woman with no friends.
You tell me of the wonders of women's friendships. But you never see my tears. Do you even see me?